Are you already missing Halloween? Or maybe you enjoy Christmas, but wish your seasons greetings could come with a little more gloom? These may be the perfect songs to fit your mood.
August Burns Red – Carol Of The Bells
Album: Lost Messengers: The Outtakes (2009)
Best Line for a Bar Humbug Time: No lyrics in this song
This song is just badass, instead of choirs and bells, we get rockin’ guitars and blast beat drumming. It’s Christmas, but a little less cute.
Corey Taylor – X-M@$
Album: X-M@$ (2010)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “There ain’t nothing more depressing than a pine tree, gussied up candy canes and balls”
This song is pure fun, and also an anthem for that lonely uncle you invite over for Christmas every year, but he REALLY doesn’t want to be there (and you don’t really want him there either).
Korn – Kidnap The Sandy Claws
Album: The Jack 2 Pack (2006)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “Kidnap the Sandy Claws, throw him in a box, bury him for 90 years, then see if he talks”
The Nightmare Before Christmas is the quintessential Christmas film for horror fans. This cover by Korn just adds a little pinch of darkness, and Jonathan Davis’ growls just top it off.
Lacuna Coil – Naughty Christmas
Album: Naughty Christmas (2016)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “I’m on my way, naughty children be afraid, one at a time, I’ll take you all away”
Telling the story of children afraid that Krampus may be paying them a visit for being naughty. The idea of Krampus is pretty damn scary, so what’s not to love here?
Korn – Jingle Balls
Album: Issues (1999)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: It’s just the classic Jingle Bells, but the best version you’ll ever hear
Pretty sure this is what plays in Hell at Christmastime. That’s all.
Fall Out Boy – Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
Album: Believers Never Die – Greatest Hits (2009)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me, before you bury yourself alive”
Most Christmas songs are about wanting nothing more than your ex back *cough* Mariah Carey *cough*. This song is the opposite, and that makes it so much more relatable.
Halestorm – Mistress For Christmas
Album: Mistress For Christmas (2016)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “Want to be in heaven with three in a bed”
Cover of the AC⚡DC song, which is equally worth a listen. It’s a rockin’ tune, and who doesn’t want a mistress for Christmas?
Blink-182 – I Won’t Be Home For Christmas
Album: Greatest Hits (2005)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “Outside the carolers start to sing, I can’t describe the joy they bring, ’cause joy is something they don’t bring me”
Pop punk fun for all those people who don’t like their family, and don’t see the point in pretending to just for a holiday.
Blink-182 – Not Another Christmas Song
Album: Not Another Christmas Song (2019)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “Another year not in a coffin”
The irony of the title is that it IS another Christmas song, both in general, and by this band. An upbeat yet miserable song for those who spend most of December waiting for it to be over.
King Diamond – No Presents For Christmas
Album: In Concert 1987: Abigail (1991)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “There’s no presents, not this christmas”
Do you ever sit and think ‘this Christmas playlist needs more power metal’? Us neither, but turns out this is exactly what we needed anyway.
Fall Out Boy – What’s This
Album: The Nightmare Before Christmas: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2006 reissue)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: There isn’t one, this song is actually pretty magical.
Another track from the wonderful The Nightmare Before Christmas, this one just works really well as a rock song, and as mentioned previously, it’s a great Christmas film for horror fans.
Twisted Sister – Heavy Metal Christmas
Album: A Twisted Christmas (2006)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: “On my heavy metal Christmas, my true love gave to me, eight pentagrams”
It’s the 12 Days Of Christmas, but with stuff you actually want, including platforms, Black mascara, and a leather jacket.
My Chemical Romance – All I Want For Christmas
Album: Christmastime in the 909 (2004)
Best Line For A Bar Humbug Time: There isn’t one, this song is too wholesome – it just doesn’t sound like it.
If deep down you’re not really a Bar Humbug, but it would ruin your street cred to admit to such a thing, then this cover of the Mariah Carey classic we all know (and possibly love) is perfect for you.
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